Years ago, when I was still doing a lot of speaking to groups, I was invited to be part of a panel that would “debate” the benefits of working with private advocates – vs – hospital advocates. We were expected to address the “controversies” that exist between them.
It was, in all honestly, a ridiculous question. Ridiculous, because private advocates and hospital advocates don’t do the same work. In fact, they march to different drummers: Hospital advocates are paid by, and are expected to protect the hospital. (And if the patient is helped, too – great!) Private advocates are paid by, and focus solely on the outcomes for their client – the patient. They are beholden to no other.
If their work is done well, then the two forms of advocates can actually complement each other. If NOT done well, then the private advocate is there to clean up the mess.
I set this stage only to explain why, then, the best outcome of the “debate” was nothing like what was intended by the sponsor.
Because all these 8 years later, I still believe one lesson I learned has now evolved to be one of very best lessons I have EVER learned about working with providers and making medical decisions.
The Momma Test
During the conversation, one person (a hospital C-suite representative) mentioned a tool he uses/used whenever necessary to settle a dispute. He called it the Momma Test.
His description of the Momma Test spoke to any employee who worked in the hospital for whom they received a complaint from a patient or the patient’s loved one. He directed his team, as they followed up on complaints, to ask that errant employee whether their behavior would pass the Momma Test. In other words:
Would you treat your Momma like that? And if someone else treated your Momma like that (or said those words to her), what would you expect to be done about it?
Whoa. Powerful. What a great takeaway. It’s sorta like the Golden Rule of how to treat others.
Fast Forward….
All these years later, and what today’s post is REALLY about, is how my use of the Momma Test has evolved...
Today, in my world, it’s a much bigger test, applied in additional places.
I’m older. I deal with older-people health challenges. While I have occasions to ask whether healthcare personnel would treat their mothers in one way or another, I actually have more occasions to ask them:
If your mother (father) had this diagnosis, or needed treatment….or….
which of these choices would you recommend for her?
When it has come to some of the bigger decisions I’ve had to make, each of the providers to which I’ve posed that question has paused… then answered. I can see the wheels turning. I know they have given it some thought. It’s not a knee-jerk, every-other patient answer. And I honestly don’t believe it’s ever been the “I can make more money with this answer” answer either.
Plus – I have expanded use of the question. I’ve used it with our financial planner, too. It is easily expanded to other professionals.
Now You Try!
I invite you to use the same question on your own behalf, or your client’s. At the very least, you know the provider has to pause and think for a moment – never a bad idea. And you may find it makes them think differently, and even describe their decision differently. In every case, whether anything changes or not, you’ll learn something.
It may give you extra confidence in your own decisions. Or it may raise futher questions.
Either way, you, and possibly your client, wins.
Content Authenticity Declaration
100% of this post was written by me, a human being. When there is AI (Artificial Intelligence) generated content, it will always be disclosed.
